i got your date sluuuuuuut pick up my calls or else hes mine
Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
So I hooked up with a guy with a mustache and woke up on a dragon futon underneath a dragon yin-tang tapestry... My life is spiraling in a weird way.
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
Sorry my phone died. Obviously four o'clock in the morning is a good time to tell you this.
Randomize
