There was a fist fight in my basement last night at four in the morning, in case you were wondering
I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
Who wears a wallet chain?!
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
He followed me on twitter after I posted a drunk screen shot of a tweet. It's like he gave me permission to stalk him on a whole different level.
Brunch got away from me. I might be a little high.
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
So I just noticed that my last drunk google search before going to bed last night was "ghosts based on gays." I have no idea what that's supposed to mean
Hey, what's a nice way of saying "Why'd you send me a picture of your boobs last night" without seeming ungrateful?
I'm honestly just saving all my liver's power for when I die this weekend. that's how it works right
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
Randomize
