watching a tv show about cocaine.. just explained to my mom why the test monkey chose coke over food
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
Took her home last night and it was like trying to put an oyster in a slot machine. I may have drank a little too much.
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
Who the fuck did i sell my right shoe to last night i need to get that back im not walking with one shoe on
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
Going to the ER, I'll explain later but apparently drunk me isn't allergic to peanut butter.
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
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