I really like you and I'm tired of just hooking up. I want you be my boyfriend.
Uhh, I'm not breaking up with my girlfriend to be with you.
everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
jungle juice + heels + stairs = broken arm
Getting drunk now, but later remind me to tell you how to crash an 8th grade grad party.
Feel like I died but someone put me In a human microwave and I got back to life.
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
I fill condoms, not promises.
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
Randomize
