Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
dude she snuck out while I was still sleeping then was banging on the door 10 minutes later cuz her car was brokedown. how was I suppose to recognize her??
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
You know you stopped at a liquor store to prepare for a 12-year-old's birthday party, right?
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
How do I tell my hairdresser I want a hair style I saw in a porn video?
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize