I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
That accounts for only three of the penises
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
So, I had a dream last night that involved you as an actual cloaked Captain America and a lot of weird sex, and I didn't hate it.
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
You know why I love being a regular at this bar? It's because at a certain point last call is only a suggestion.
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
Randomize
