How did I get so drunk? We had to fish that girl out of the Goodwill Donation Box.
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
Didn't get laid. But got a free pie from a waitress. A whole pie.
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
I know it's early but when you wake up can you please validate my life and tell me I'm not just a drunk idiot.
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
Can we go out and get blitzed in celebration that they'll be no more surprise kids
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
Randomize
