Yours is on the dinner table...mine is in my underwear drawer.
Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
After you vomited on the patrol car, you thanked the officer for helping you up off the ground. I don't think you realized you were being arrested.
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
Hey, I found that piece of pizza you lost in my bed last night. Never again...
Randomize
