It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
You always know it is going to end badly when a guy asks if he met you at a "coed naked lawn bowling party"
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
everyone at work keeps looking at me like they know I got the herp this weekend
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
I'm sorry and I love you. One day we're going to live in a whore mansion with our babies and make boys cry.
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
I have a new philosophy. Fuck wearing bras, it's summertime.
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
Got my period and a UTI on the same day. Fuck you, Sunday.
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
Randomize
