Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
You're earring is so big in my mouth
i found a beer bottle on top of the urinal, peed in it and put it back... if anyone gets drunk enough to fall for it they deserve it
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
I woke up to you singing What Makes You Beautiful and trying to blend an avocado with vodka.
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
I was standing in my mom's kitchen in only my neon green thong, eating pizza over the garbage can, and sobbing while he was yelling at me.
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
Dear sober self, your keys are on the table in front of you the only way your typing this is with autocorrect goodnight love you
I'm kind of pissed I'm not hungover, that means I could have totally drank more last night.
She woke up, mumbled "the trees" When i asked her what about them, she yelled "WE NEED THEM FOR OXYGEN," Then went back to sleep.
We need to get on her level.
Randomize