Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
I tried to tell him I love him but it came out something like "We're both fucked up and it works."
You'd think somebody who rolls blunts like jesus himself could roll a god damn burrito
Hey, I'm making progress. I haven't thrown up in a bar while wearing a sweater vest in almost two months.
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
I have an interview tomorrow and listed you as a reference. If they call you, please don't tell them about the time I smuggled a Chalupa out of Taco Bell in my underwear.
At 38 I had to open a Snapchat account to communicate with my 21 yr bf. where is my life going.
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
You gotta come over now. He is eating cupcakes while they are still in the foil.
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