Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
Mr. Last Night just informed me I told him to be very quiet when he left this morning and high-fived him as a goodnight kiss. Drunk me is slutty and manly.
Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
That awkward moment when your boyfriend tries to have sex with his go pro on #hdporn
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
Who looks around on a bright, sunny day and says, "you know what? Today I'm going to write gay dinosaur erotica"
I'm kinda glad you won't be in Vegas tomorrow because you'd make us go streaking or throw dead animals at them.
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
You should have thought of that before emitting walrus sounds while intoxicated
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