how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
Dude, I couldnt get it up cause she said her parents were home...
ok, come over...I have doritos
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
when you get a chance can you look up 'free abortion clinic' for me? cuz i dont think i'll be lucky enough for a second miscarriage.
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?
he's like watermelon oreos; I know they're gross and weird and I shouldn't like them, but I can't stop eating them because they're there.
Just bailed on her the best way possible. Got tickets to the game. Only issue is.... if we lose, we not only lost, but I skipped sex to watch us lose
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
I got laid two nights in a row
And none for Gretchen Wieners...
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
I didn't know how to commemorate his death, so I snorted a fat line off of his obituary. Rest in peace.
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
I just saw the co founder of Waffle House passed away Friday. Are you okay?
That's about the same time my life started falling apart... Coincidence?!?!? I think NOT!!!
Randomize
