dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
How did you get him out of the shower last time?
Order Taco Bell and leave a trail of burritos leading to his bed.
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
Don't tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
I'm at the drive thru window, five minutes out. If the bathtub is empty or you're dressed when I arrive I'm not sharing.
Randomize
