Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
Apparently on the way out of the ER i asked the nurse to doggie-bag me some more morphine.
My 8 year old wants to name our new cat "fur burger". how do i explain that this is not really appropriate?
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
In other news it turns out I like Heineken.. In a desert island kind of way
how fucking stupid do you have to be to think I'm going to accept your friend request months after falling asleep during one night stand sex?
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
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