My mom just used the words "ice cunt". It may be an interesting day afterall.
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
In all fairness I did warn the guy I just spray tanned before we had sex so I hold no responsibility for the bronzer all over his sheets
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
i was beyond wasted so he tucked me into bed and wrapped the blankets around me like a burrito. then gave me a bloody mary and an omlet when i woke up. and who says living with your cousin is a bad thing?!
Tornado booty call.. dedication
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
When the dude you brought home from the bar on Thanksgiving leaves before you wake up ... #thankful
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
Randomize
