i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
I've decided that life's journeys are more fun when your moral compass hangs in front of you and swings with each step
Just figured out why my bed smells like weed: I just found a bowl in my pillow case?
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
Well im sitting on a futon on a porch at 1:30 in the afternoon drinking boxed wine out of a pint glass next to a chick with a homemade neckbrace. What do you think?
I got punched in the face by a Cowboy last night. Then he bought me a beer cause o convinced security not to kick him out the bar. Start of a fairytale love story? I think so.
We are going to the humane society and getting you microchipped so you don't get lost on your birthday. Either that or your getting a child leash
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
There is a pool of ranch salad dressing in my purse...I know thats always been something you've wanted to try..so don't even act like you didn't do this.
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
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