maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
Apparently after taking body shots off of a guy i haven't seen since 1st grade, i ate a stick of butter, showed everyone my tampon string, and fell off the boat. my uggs belong to the sea now
whose ass print is on the piano?
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
I noticed a trail of vomit coming up the drive way. You must be home
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
I wish I could open myself up and check on my liver. Make sure it's hanging on. Ya know?
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
Randomize
