I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
He practically bottle-fed me Jameson, like I was a baby chimpanzee on those nature specials.
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
I could've eaten a live cat and wouldn't remember it today. That level of drunk.
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
I might come over. Something about you makes me matronly and I have this urge to nurse you back to health with soup and a blowjob
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
Why can't I hire someone to teach me how to be a decent human being?
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
Randomize
