There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
we were running to make last call and you stopped me and said very seriously "if i fall, go on without me. just make sure theres a beer in my hand when you go"
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
Don't look him in the eyes, it like looking at the sun but instead of burning your retinas it makes you wet and vulnerable
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
He texted me at 2am telling me to come get my American flag from his place, if that's not code for sex idk what is
I literally wonder, frequently, "Will anyone ever fuck me until i go cross eyed for 2 hours again?''
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
Let me just get through this whole court subpoena thing and then ill go back to buying alcohol for minors.
Randomize
