my mom walked in on my vaccuming.......i wasnt vaccumming
What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
Even the bartender felt bad for me
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
I'm sorry I kept calling you a pussy... but to be fair, you were being a pussy.
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
Woke up this morning with Nerf Bullets stuck to everything in my house and nut in my belly button. What exactly happened last night?
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
I woke up hugging my purse and I found a business card in my underwear. How?
When you can't finish your jumbo margarita and figure pouring it into a to go box will suffice... Midnight snack?
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
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