I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
Little spoons don't ask big questions
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
You know you hit rock bottom when you make out with a guy named after a cereal.
A piece of cheeseburger just fell between my tits. Consider this a "wish you were here" postcard.
Nothing says walk of shame better than a onesie and a 12 pack of corona..
They woke me up at 4 in the morning screaming "drunk adventure time!" because they needed a sober chaperone. They made me walk them around the block shoeless.
Jail is not for me. They portion control your meals and I don't really like that.
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
all my friends are getting married and here i am in a committed relationship with rum
Randomize
