She just used a chaser for red wine.
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
I imagine my 13 hours of sleep after my 3 day upper bender was similar to Jesus rising from the dead.
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
Sit down my child. It's time you were told of my famous loss-of-virginity story entitled, "The Penis that Never Could."
I'm gunna send you baby bottles of vodka for those nights when you just give up
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO BE A DRUNK WHEN ALL MY ENABLERS ARE BUSY?!
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
I am at the car wash dressed as a turn of the century librarian
i think we sleep fucked last night...
Are you texting me while pooping again?
I'm also playing fetch with the dog
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
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