No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
I just had a brazillian performed by a hungarian named olga. Im pretty sure she was trying to rip out my soul. You owe me a million orgasms
I'm sorry I ignored your high cries for help while you were grating cheese on my dog.
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
Doors open. I'm laying in bed watching caddy shack and drinking a vodka tonic.
And I'm out of vodka so bring vodka or 2013 will blow ass
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
I jumped out of a moving car going sixty into my driveway because I had to shit so bad. It is not a good day today.
A duck just looked me in the eye whilst I peed in a lake. I feel so dirty.
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
First things first, I always get more drunk than the birthday girl. Like, who's idea was it to sing karaoke? I killed it.
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
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