Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
Don't mind me. My boyfriend is carrying me because I'm broken not because I'm drunk.
It's not even 9:30 yet..
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
My cat licked the coke mirror and now is giving me dirty looks. Bet money she has the drip.
I'm still mad from all the stupid shit he's done this week that even though I couldn't give two shits about Vday, I'm gonna throw an epic tantrum if he doesn't morph in to Nickolas Sparks for a day
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
Uber southern baptist grandma and uber flaming cousin just got into an argument about whether jesus is OK with gay marriage. Aren't these things only supposed to happen at Thanksgiving?
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
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