What do you think that old couple was thinking when they saw me puking in the QT parking lot at ten in the morning?
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
The doctor wrote 'condom retrieval' on my discharge paper.
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
The best thing about my promotion is that I now have an office with a door. I can take my naps in peace instead of leaning my head against the stall in the bathroom.
I can't believe they pay you six figures. I hate you.
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
I just interrupted this girl giving a dude head in a parked car on the south side. Going down on your guy while you're parked in front of your house because you don't want your parents catching you is fine by me, just don't block the fire hydrant.
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
Such a big mess for such a small penis
Randomize
