I think the only thing that impresses me are nice penises...and Jesus. Jesus would impress me. Especially if he walked on water again.
Moan for me like Helen Keller
NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
Holy shit I just stopped short on route 18 because I thought my gps was saying I had to turn right in 11 feet. After almost hitting the guardrail I realized I had to turn in 11 miles.
Fuck I'm high.
We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
If she asks the cat was vomiting before I fed it fried calamari
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
I think I'm going to go into my next therapy session with hot client with my fly down and when he tells me about it I'm going to say "how did that happen?!" and then porn music will start to play.
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
Randomize
