when i say i joined a midget dating site why do u assume i was drunk
then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
he doesn't even text me anymore.. he just facebook chats me a shark emoticon which has turned into code for 'be naked at my house in 15 mins'
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
I AM HANGING OUT WITH ADORABLE DOGS SURROUNDED BY NATURE. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND ALSO BYE CIVILIZATION AND PANTS.
Are you at a park?
your keys are upstairs on the nightstand or I put them in the hole in the wall
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
Randomize
