My nephew just came out playing with my moms vibrator.
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
Cool, so I just walked in on my grandfather checking his prostate in the kitchen.
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
Today might be the day that I legitimately throw up in my saxophone.
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
I had a dream that we erected a stage in our living room for "impromptu performances" how can we make this a reality?
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
I come bearing gifts of whiskey and vagina
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
The Vicodin is in the strawberries.
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
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