K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
I'm laying outside on my patio attempting to get sun with a puke bucket next to me... This is dedication to the tan my friend
you don't know what its like to have your bartender tell you that you owe him beer money infront of your mother at 3pm on a tuesday
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
Ate a live seahorse, then tried to order a nacho bell grande from an ATM.
How the fuck do you get to keep practicing as a Nurse.
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
And to celebrate the raising of our lord I just purchased a bunny buttplug. Am I doing this Easter thing right?
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
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