Sponge bath it is.
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
Oh god. Standing was a rash decision
I made it to Starbucks to do work and I've just been sitting here with my head on the table for 30 minutes...
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
Dude, you can't even imagine the trip, I actually thought that there were Care Bears sitting next to me at the bar, I'm pretty sure I started hitting on the pink one.
Found a piece of twizzler in my buttcrack.
what's the proper way to say, "I'm sorry for puking on you and your bed mid hook up then going downstairs and fucking your roommate because you locked me out of your room completely naked...?"
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.
Not a problem, sailor. I speak both autocorrect and typo.
We should leave before they realize I dumped a bowl of Fritos in your bag just in case I got hungry
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
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