I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
in the middle of sex he stopped to tell me that he loved me... then slapped my ass and told me "back to business"... im gonna marry him
glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
so what if he's got a new girlfriend. the guy i'm fucking has an english accent. i win.
It was like getting head from an anaconda
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
Did you put Dave Matthews band on the playlist? It's really hard to funnel when "Crash Into Me" kicks in.
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
I just got a text giving me an hour window for when my vibrator is gonna be delivered. If that's not awesome customer service, I don't know what is.
I just split a tacobell party box with my boss. 12 tacos. We were equals for a moment.
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