the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
Yet again my drunken self has managed to find his way into the middle of nowhere with no shoes or recollection of what happened last night.
Then I guess you don't remember me driving you there after you tried making out with my girlfriend, dipshit.
I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
Was it a good night or a bad night when you have to apologize to someone the next day for trying to fuck them with a turtle?
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
Randomize
