I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
god is playing jersey shore on new years on purpose. he wants me to play drinking games and die. i wish he knew how serious this is.
I wonder if Barack Obama has ever been this drunk.
If I had a motorized wheelchair, I'd just chase the squirrels on campus all day.
Just looked at my outgoing calls. Seems I had a 7 minute convo with my 10th grade english teacher at 2:56 am Saturday...
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
Meeting girls and telling em you have no hair on your calves is not an acceptable pick up line
A client gave me a bottle of vodka today. And he was hot with a beard. It's like he knows my soul.
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
Well obviously we have a ghost in the house who’s taking showers in your bathroom and doing our cocaine.
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
Randomize
