you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
We're not in high school anymore. I'm not going to pretend to be impressed as he butchers my favorite songs on his guitar. I just wanted to get laid.
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
I'm gunna send you baby bottles of vodka for those nights when you just give up
Tim and I found you a 5ish and asked how you were doing with the breakup. All you said was "i can't words"
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
whatever bro. i had ice cream and whiskey for breakfast and its noon. this is the second worst christmas ever.
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
Randomize
