i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
I knew I was in the wrong bar when "I have a daughter your age" was some random's pick up line.
You slept with a red coat way too close to independence day. It's just very unpatriotic.
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
Impromptu road trip to New Orleans for four days of Mardi Gras. I'll probably be alive and back for Valentine's Day plans, probably won't stick my dick in some random either-might be using my free pass you cheating asshat. Love you. Expect random texts & probably a drunk dial or twelve. You did this to yourself. You're not invited so don't bother. Have fun at work.
What do you mean you don't want me to steal the manikin do you have any idea how expensive inflatable dolls are I can't get that for your birthday
My dad sent me a 10 ft beer bong and my mom sent me ideas for future careers. I'll let you guess who my favorite parent is. Also, come over tonight. and bring beers.
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
I know it's 10:30am but Finding Dory starts in an hour, and I have four points of molly. You down?
Randomize
