hey, what are you doing tonight?
sleeping, g'night!
but i wanted to see you :(
sleeping! g'night!(801): i miss you!
stop - you have a right hand - use it!
I swear to god Kristen, if this "cute" guy you are trying to hook up with's friend asks me if we can role play, and I play his mother one more time, Im leaving. You have 3 minutes to save me or I am out.
I think I am morally bankrupt
cynthia nixon should never get laid more than me
She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
He told me he wanted to sober fuck the shit outa me... I took that as a compliment
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
my mom called me mid shot and i accidentally answered and kept calling her my own name. somehow i thought that would help the situation.
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
Randomize
