dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
Woke up in my underwear and Christmas sweater. Only. Eggnog has won the battle but not the war.
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
This is John, I met you downtown last night.
Oh, ok.
This is the cop that kept you out of trouble last night
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
If you don't ever hear from me again, just know that I loved you
Jesus Christ that's like a real possibility
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
And somehow in between all the vomitting you managed to mumble "Well this is attractive!" And I swear that's when I fell in love. Best. First. Date. Ever!
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
He wouldn’t know a good thing if it bit him on the ass. Which, btw, I did.
Randomize