i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
checking your phone to see who you drunk dialed last night isnt as funny when you see you had a 17 minute call to your dad.
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
The bad news is tonight is also a blue moon, ergo, latin, I will have to get 'once in a blue moon' drunk which I feel is significantly more dangerous than IPO drunk
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
I tried to light my cup as a bong. I'm done drinking
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
I will feed you tacos. I will touch your butt. Happy Valentine's Day ❤️
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
Is it weird I can only picture you in my heels naked?
Be proud; I'm a versatile boyfriend
Randomize
