Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.
You expect me to find someone in two days who I feel comfortable enough with to ask them to get drunk and go play in foam with me?
I didn't even have time to sit down and the nurse was like: ''You've been having unprotected sex.'' HOW DOES SHE KNOW?!?
What's sign language for "you may not be the father?" Kinda important right now.
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
Kinda hard to look your partner in the face the day after a rousing game of How Many Ways Can I Capture Your Penis.
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
Do you remember me asking for jerk off videos from Tinder guy?
Nah I don't remember that being part of the criteria
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
Randomize