We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
Watching that soccer game was like getting kicked in the crotch for an hour and half and then coming right at the end.
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
Really, thanks for buying me caribou, it helped me out. Today will forever be the day I threw up in a caribou cup in the skyway outside of chipotle.
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
I'd just like to take a moment now to apologize sincerely for getting drunk and making an as of myself at your Christmas party next week. I'm especially sorry for sleeping with your baby sister.
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
But being sober is boring. Everything takes so long, I feel like I'm just waiting in line to die.
Greetings from Florida; the armpit of the US, where my 240something lb brother nearly got carried away by some aggressive woodland mosquitoes. I was only spared because they could probably sense I was currently semi-disassociating and would not feel the suffering their presence wrought.
Anyway, how was your day?
Randomize
