Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
i fucked some guy last night. i called him nick jonas by mistake. i'm 24.
spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
ugh.. my birth control just came out of my nose. wtf?
i got turned down by a girl after she saw how big my penis was and she said "thats not goin in me"
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
In brighter news I got condoms and a mattress protector today.
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
I can hear my family downstairs singing Christmas carols as I masturbate
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
Randomize
