Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
So I've decided that when I turn 50 and have to have a colonoscopy I'm going to leave a surprise for the doctor to find.
ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
I was wrong being drunk doesn't make accounting more interesting
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
Just heard Miley Cyrus' version of "Every Rose Has Its Thorn". Fuck everything. If you don't have an std you have no right to remake this song
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
The sex was so good I feel like I could run a triathlon, hit big at the casino, and defeat ISIS.
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
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