We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
Did I get blown in the bathroom? Yes. Did she throw up cranberry juice on my shorts? Yes. Did she finish the job? Yes.
Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
tell me how i ended up in the movie theater alone with a bottle of smirnoff and a bendy straw.
you kept telling everyone how your ninja turtle shell also functioned as a backpack
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
"my nose is broken but I'm beer pong champ so it evens out really"
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
Randomize