How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
Next time, if you wake and bake, make sure you nail the wake part. Not easy to explain to mum. Or the fire brigade.
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
Training to be a housewife: cleaning the house and masturbating while cookies are in the oven.
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
the first sign of life we got from you was four hours later. you smiled without opening your eyes when tom whispered in your ear we were getting buffalo wings.
No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
Bro, there is a rent-a-cop selling syringes out of the trunk of his car. This is why I hate the DMV.
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
That’s the third time this month he’s hooked up with a girl by telling her it’s his bachelor party, and he’s not even dating a chick let alone engaged.
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