Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
When you wake up, I have rum and am in town
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
I'm chugging Gatorade because i drank something called a trashcan and someone named Gianna diamond has my credit card number, and I think I might have ruined my life.
Finished my senior thesis. How am I celebrating you ask? By drinking gas station white zif out of an empty candle holder by myself. I fucking deserve to graduate.
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
She wants to go as a facebook "like" for halloween, but right now her costume looks more like the hamburger helper hand with broken fingers.
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
It's statistically impossible for there not to be at least one guy sexting you right now
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
Kinda awkward to hear your aunt complain about loose women when you're in town to be a stunt dick for a swingers convention. Just sayin.
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