whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
You ended at least 6 stories with "and that's why I don't snort coke anymore"
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
Leave the bottle at home cause either way I'm not taking another shot. You have no idea how long it took me to compose this text free of grammatical error.
Gold star for you, but I'm on my way and the soco is buckled in next to me. This is happening.
Did you catch one of my beer pong balls in your cleavage or was that a dream?
If I had a dick, I'd stick it in some Oreo pancakes
I found dried jizz from last night on my leg while feeding an infant a bottle. I am not fit to care for children
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
I ditched my one night stand in the hotel lobby. How did he add me on Snapchat?
Randomize