dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
rough night. sneezed a watermelon seed this morning and apparently I drunk dialed my boss for a ride home. twice.
I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
Dude, hurry and get over. I need a wingman. She is on her 6th vodka shot and her resident ugly friend is still sober
How was I supposed to know she would get offended when I asked her how long it took to draw on her eyebrows.
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
She gave me what I will now dub a "hurricane sandy". Loud, wet and sloppy BJ that made me want to stay home and complain about shit on the Internet
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
That moment that random you banged behind the bar is going to be your son's third grade teacher... yup I'm there.
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
Pandemic Silver Lining: cheap hotel rates makes it easier to have afternoon fun with my side dick
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