She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
oh my god i just remembered the cat blow jobs.
His dick was as big as my arm. Giving him a handjob was like giving someone an Indian sunburn.
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
She asked me to head butt her and after half a bottle of whiskey that seemed reasonable.
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
I want to fling myself into the sun
She turned off her phone alarm (which was the theme song to Star Wars) and then asked me if I wanted a blow job before she went...of course I am going to see her again.
my hair smells like a mixture of fireworks and rotten eggs with a hint of shame. it's so strong it's keeping me awake.
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
Randomize
