You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
you're out of your mind
you look like daphne blake and he looks like fozzie bear
it's like he rubbed a lamp and wished you into existence
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
Fuuuuck. Forgot it's October. FYI scarecrows are gonna fuck you up when you're driving high
You coming home soon, man?
HENBARSCLOSE
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
He told me I handled myself pretty well considering how drunk I was. He failed to realize that the lollipop I had was one I found on the ground a few minutes before hand.
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
You're a hot mess, you know that?
At least I'm a FUN hot mess. Like a train crash full of pizza, fireworks and glitter.
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
I just saw a guy in a zippo shirt buy 2 gallons of fire starter fluid and then proceed to smoke a cigarette. I feel like hes got some big plans for his tuesday.
You almost lost your european virginity to a Peruvian man waering a do-rag in a port-a-potty.
Randomize
