Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
Hey is there a picture of me in a trash can on your phone?
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
I was drunk, he was taking a bodyshot while avoiding my piercing. I told him I loved him. He waited until I woke up with my hangover to say he loved me too. It was hangover magic.
I'm so hung over that I just tried to send you a screen shot of the cracked screen on my phone.
Sooooooo this guy just asked me if I'd be interested in a threesome... I'm considering bc I would get to hang out with his dog afterwards.
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
You kept telling everyone that you were as sober as a camel. I have yet to figure out what that means
I went to the hospital to have my arm checked out, and they already knew the story. They gave me props for posting photos on facebook before even coming to the hospital.
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
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