maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
I was so high I couldn't tell if they were goosebumps or herpes.
Went to mcdonalds... Wishing I could throw up the last 20 hours of my life.
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
I was high enough to think that mac-n-cheese w/ ketchup, tortilla chips w/ ketchup, and milk was a fancy dinner
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
I woke up to a quacking alarm clock and a rando in my bed. I told him I liked his cargo shorts. Fireball is not my soulmate anymore.
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
You followed me up the stairs while i was throwing up yelling "projectile! projectile! projectile!"
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
Randomize
