Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?"
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
This is the only time in your life where finding a half eaten lime and pair of florescent pink underwear that wasn't yours means that it was a good night
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
Yep. How's your hangover?
It's like I fucked its sister and it's getting back at me.
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
He told me the hickey on the side if his neck was actually a "bruise" from hitting a bird on his motorcycle. I'm not sure what's more impressive, the fact people believed him due to the size of the mark or the fact you gave it to him.
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
I may or may not have tried to give myself a lobotomy
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
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