I feel like my sweat is 40 proof right now
Dude love is like an itch. You fuckin scratch it, then it itches more, then you scratch it and it itches more, and before you know it, there is semen everywhere.
you are insane
I got so many pubes stuck in her braces that when she yanked her head, I cried out like that one girl you "accidentally" rear-ended last week. Bald spots are battle scars.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
So the bitch asked me if I wanted the name brand or the generic contraceptive. Does it look like I want to be generically pregnant?
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
You pissed off the back deck while listening to the national anthem from your phone screaming America Fuck Yea to my neighbors
the dj asked me quote "are you sure you're sober enough to do this?" And I grabbed the mic from him and said "ill fucking show you sober- HIT IT". I also dropped the mic at the end so he had to come around and pick it up
Shania Twain would have been proud
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
I called you last night? What did I say??
That you love me forever and that I'm the greatest in the world now mohammed ali is dead...
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