Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
We had to coat check the pizza.
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
if i ever get hit by a car or something and become paralyzed promise me youll still be here to hand feed me shots and light my bowls please
Where the condoms are as broken as my dreams
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
So, I had a dream last night that involved you as an actual cloaked Captain America and a lot of weird sex, and I didn't hate it.
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
He caught me mid-escape...one leg out the window, bra n thong in hand.I just looked at him and said "Bye Now" n proceeded to fall out his window....then.... tell me why he texted me 30 min later to make sure i got home ok! #igotthis
I'm currently watching porn and playing beer pong with wine in the lobby of a hotel with a squadron of hot airforce guys. You can never say your life is better than mine again
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