I have demons in me.
I was just told by a cop that my party was the most epic party they ever crashed
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
You are two creepy Justin Bieber quotes away from me not talking to you for the rest of the day
If I had a pelvic thrust emoticon, I would use it
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
I wish you could be here to assess my herpes before he gets here.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
He was singing R-E-S-P-E-C-T to a stripper between motorboats while our HR manager cheered him on.
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
Do you know who changed all my phone contacts into characters from Harry Potter?
He Who Must Not Be Named.
Fuck you.
The dog peed on the neighbors baby Jesus. No wonder she thinks we're the devil.
Randomize
