I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
Just mixed Baileys and yoohoo. I feel like an alchoholic 2nd grader.
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
Come back. She's looking through naked pics of his exes on his phone and questioning him about them and I'm too drunk to walk away.
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
I've just informed her that you've voted her Chief-Adult-In-Charge-Of-Shit and that she will take the oath of office on Fri Dec 14th at 8 pm with her hand on a bottle of Jager.
You understand the drunkenness of my drunkenness
Also I want everyone to be drunk at my funeral. Instead of wearing black just blackout. That way everyone can celebrate how fun I was
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
Randomize
