In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
If I have to go to the hospital can we stop by the liquor store on the way?
I'm laying here in fetal position. I feel like a traffic cone
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
I just did the math. It is, in fact, cheaper to go out drinking every weekend than it would be for me to pay for a legitimate therapist. What are you doing next Friday night?
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.
Next time I take edibles I'm getting chipotle to cater the event
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
Life if anyone rolls up to my funeral with shitty weed get them out of there
Randomize
