I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
Im laying on the couch wishing someone was here to pour wine in my mouth. I need an alcohol IV
All I found in my purse this morning was 160 cigarettes and a fistful of confetti.
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
Having sex with my girlfriend wearing my old Tom Brady jersey on the day he's freed is the closest I'll come to a 3way with Tom
Walking into my bedroom & smelling stale sex & disappointment isn't how I envisioned being 39, in case you were wondering.
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
I just made deviled eggs for everyone not passed out. Im officially becoming a drunk chef.
Randomize
