so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
no, i remember trying to staple my nipples together. I just can't figure out where the hell stapler came from.
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
What if our hands were octopus tentacles?
You're an idiot.
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
Drunk me made out with someone's girlfriend last night, was invited to their place for a semi-threesome, and then walked home at three am. Can't decide if this is better or worse than drunkenly challenging everyone to taekwondo sparring matches...
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
So hungover and decided to eat a burrito and a pot brownie for dinner, this is what adulthood looks like.
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
Randomize
